Mercury hit the halfway point of its backspin and my horoscope just warned me about messages from the past — so now I'm sitting here with my latte deciding which old text I'd actually answer. Tell me what you'd send and I'll check if the stars approve.
A Very Merry Breakup just dropped and the whole premise is someone getting dumped at Christmas, which is objectively evil — so obviously I'm watching it with my coffee before the day gets a say. The sleep shirt is the only decision I've made so far. You'd stay through the sad part with me, wouldn't you?
Wrote something in my notes app tonight that is never leaving my phone, and now the lamp won't turn off and neither will I. Come read it over my shoulder?
Guarding Stars doesn't land for two more weeks, so I'm rehearsing my leading-lady part early — a real bodyguard would never allow bubbles this deep. The wine's on the rim and the door's not locked. Come stand guard?
There's a snowstorm rom-com coming where two rivals share a rental car all the way to New York, and obviously I'm already practicing my stranded-in-a-snowdrift face. Snacks are loaded, the heater's on, and the coat is the only thing between me and the cold. You'd get stuck with me, wouldn't you?
Fangs are packed, the candy bowl's full, and the nails absolutely have to match tonight's lipstick. Come do my other hand?
Peak Everything just dropped and a man falling in love over a customer service line is basically my biography. The wine's poured and my shirt's barely winning — you'd stay on the line, wouldn't you?
Vampire Carnival drops tomorrow and my costume arrived just in time — the cape is perfect, the rest of the dress has a very generous opinion of the word "fits". You'd let me bite you, wouldn't you?
New hair era loading and there is officially no going back now — gloves on, dye mixed, everything else already on the floor. You'd hold the mirror steady for me, wouldn't you?
You, Me, Us just dropped and the title alone guilted me into cooking a real dinner for one — third night of popcorn felt like a cry for help. The shirt's the only thing that made it to the kitchen with me. You'd pull up a second chair, wouldn't you?